


Happy Flappy

by DianaandAlicia



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Autistic Clarke au, Beachkru, F/M, Neurodiversity, Not all of the characters will appear in each chapter, Post-Canon, Stimming, but since it's set after the finale they technically are there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27151262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DianaandAlicia/pseuds/DianaandAlicia
Summary: On the beach, Clarke is finally able to be herself.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & John Murphy, Emori/John Murphy (The 100)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all! So this little story is special to me. I am autistic and there isn't really any good representation in the media that I have watched, and I wanted to write something where Clarke is autistic, simply because she is my favorite character. I wish they had a canon neurodivergent character on the 100, but since they don't, I decided to do this instead. I understand that in canon she isn't, and she will appear ooc in this work but I really wanted to do this and I'm kinda nervous about putting this out into the world.
> 
> All of Clarke's experiences and stims etc. are based off of mine, and I really hope that you all are respectful with this work.
> 
> I hope you like it!

“Hey John?” Emori asked one evening as the group started to break off after dinner.

“Yeah?”

“Is Clarke ok?”

“I think so, what do you mean?” Murphy asked, looking in the direction Emori was, seeing Clarke sitting on the beach next to the fire with Picasso.

“She keeps like playing with the sand, and fidgeting. I’ve never really seen her do that before.”

Murphy looked from Emori to Clarke and realized that he and the others never mentioned it to Emori, Echo, or any of their other grounder born friends that Clarke was autistic.

Up on the Ring, everyone assumed Clarke was dead and it was often too painful to bring her up in conversation. Other than that, Emori at least had never really spent enough time with Clarke to pick up on it, especially since Clarke tended to hyper focus on the task at hand and mask to present as neurotypical when there were more important things to worry about. Like war, or the end of the human race. Now though, there were no more threats, no more fights, just peace. Clarke didn’t have to mask anymore.

“She’s stimming.” He said, watching the blonde scoop up handfuls of sand and slowly letting it sift through her fingers. It was methodic and looked very relaxing for her. She looked the most relaxed he’d ever seen her since the day the drop ship landed.

“What’s stimming?”

“Clarke’s autistic. She was diagnosed with something called Autism Spectrum Disorder and it can affect those who are on the spectrum in different ways. For Clarke, she has extra sensitivity to her senses, sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell. She also really likes routine and for things to be just so, so you can imagine how everyday has been a living hell for her ever since we came to Earth the first time. Um, but for the most part, stimming is doing something repetitive to self-stimulate. Many autistic people do it.” 

“ So, there’s nothing bad going on?”

“No. Actually, it’s really good to see her stimming like that. Sometimes her stims aren’t always good and seeing her play with the sand and be at peace means that she’s feeling pretty good right now.”

“How can stims be bad?”

“Well, stims aren’t bad per se, because it’s how some people let their energy out. What I meant was for example, after we landed the first time and I got hung and banished, and then came back with that sickness, Clarke almost had a meltdown when everyone started to get sick. It was something beyond her control and it was also something that kept changing life at the drop ship camp rapidly. She did a lot of hand flapping and vocal stimming, but yeah, the rapid change in routine really fucked with her and doing things like hand flapping was what helped her through it.”

Emori nodded and smiled, looking at Clarke and seeing her continue to play with the sand. “Well, I’m glad she’s finally at a place where she can be herself.”

“Me too.” John said, before deciding to go over and talk with her.

“I’ll meet you back at our tent.” He said to Emori, before walking over to talk with Clarke.

“Hey.”

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Mind if I join you?” He asked, and sat down when Clarke gestured for him to sit.

As soon as he was settled, he looked to Clarke and saw that she had moved on from playing with sand to flapping her hands.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh, it’s just I’ve never seen you flap your hands unless you were upset over something.”

“Oh, I’m not upset. I’m fine.” Clarke said, smiling at Murphy.

“Hey Clarke? I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? Sorry for what?”

“The first few days at the drop ship camp. I know Bellamy’s ‘Whatever the Hell We Want’ stuff really bothered you because it disrupted you trying to a find a routine that would work for us, and then just continuously letting your experiences get disregarded in order to please Bellamy. It wasn’t right.”

“I’m sorry for getting you hanged. If I hadn’t been dumb and accused you in front of everyone, it wouldn’t have happened.”

“Hey, I get it. You were overwhelmed. Your best friend, the only person on the ground who really understood you, had just died and your brain started going a mile a minute. I know you didn’t mean to escalate the situation, you just acted before you truly thought it through. And just because your brain works differently than the rest of ours doesn’t mean you’re dumb.” He reminded, not wanting Clarke to think that her being autistic made her any less smart.

“I’m still sorry though. You never should have been mistreated like you were.”

“I accept your apology. It’s all over now, and we don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“I accept your apology too. I know you wanted to fit in and do whatever you needed to in order to please Bellamy and I know you didn’t mean any intentional harm by it.”

Murphy smiled at Clarke, happy that they were finally able to talk about what went down, even if it was over 100 years ago. 

“Well, I should head back to Emori. I’ll see you tomorrow ok?”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” Clarke said, before Murphy got up and went over to the area where the tent was that he shared with his girlfriend.

Once Murphy was gone, Clarke turned back to the sand and started to sift with her left hand, all while using her right to pet Picasso and get a routine going again. As she did that, she looked up at the clear sky and smiled at all the glimmering stars, happy to finally be home.


	2. Sometimes the Sand is the Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has a meltdown. Raven, Murphy, and Emori help her through it.

“Hey, do you know where Clarke went?” Murphy asked Echo, as he, Raven, and Emori made their way over to their friend. 

“Yeah she went back to her house. She said that something wasn’t right and she had to fix it.” Echo said, before going back to what she was doing. The three friends looked at each other before making their way to the structure that Clarke claimed for herself.

As soon as they entered, they saw Clarke sitting on the bed crying, her shoes and socks off, with her knees pulled up to her chest.

“Clarke, what’s wrong?” Emori asked, with Raven gently sitting down next to Clarke. They knew from past experiences since coming back from transcendence, that Clarke was having a meltdown. And during these meltdowns, 99% of the time, Clarke always wanted Raven.

“It’s wrong.” Was all Clarke shouted, not at Emori herself, but because of the frustration she was feeling.

“What’s wrong?” Murphy asked, kneeling down so Clarke could look at him.

“It’s wrong.” Clarke repeated, and that was when the three knew that had to handle this differently. 

“Echo told us that you came in here because something wasn’t right and you had to fix it. Did the problem come from a sudden change in your routine, or was it something else?” Raven asked gently, ready to go through a small checklist of  possibilities that they had on why Clarke usually had meltdowns.

“Something else.” Clarke said softly, tears still streaming down her face. She was flapping her hands next to her ears, a stim she did when she was distressed. If Clarke flapped around her face, the flapping wasn’t happy. “Face flaps” which was what Murphy called them, only happened when she was having a meltdown.

“Ok. Did you smell, or taste something bad, or was it something else?”

“Else.”

“Did you see something or hear something bad? A bright light or a loud noise for example, or was it something else?”

“Else.”

“Did you feel a bad texture, or was it something else?”

“Texture.”

“Alright Clarke. You were sitting on the beach with Echo, grinding that red seaweed into medicine. Was it the texture of the seaweed or the tools you were using that upset you? Or was it the sand?”

“Sand.”

“Are you able to tell me how the sand was a bad texture?”

“It got in my shoes and it felt bad on my feet.”

“That’s ok. Sand in shoes is a very irritating feeling.” Raven said, gently rubbing Clarke’s back. The blonde scooted closer to Raven and shut her eyes, though tears still slipped out and her flapping continued. While it was true that some autistic people hated being touched, especially during meltdowns, Clarke needed it, specifically from Raven.

“Are you starting to feel better now that your shoes are off?” Emori asked, thinking that now that Clarke was barefoot, the problem was solved.

“No. It’s wrong.” Clarke said again. “I was wrong.”

“How is  it wrong Clarke?” Raven asked. “I don’t think there’s an incorrect way to take off your shoes.”

Clarke then stopped mid-flap and pointed to the ground. The floors of all the structures were dirt, and two little white piles of sand were very visible in the dirt.

“I poured the sand out on the ground. But the floor dirt is not its home. The beach is its home.” Clarke explained, and it all made sense. She was first upset over the sand in her shoes causing a bad texture, but she got even more upset when she poured the sand out, and it was poured in the wrong place. To her, the sand belonged on the beach, not mixed in with the dirt floor of her home.

“Clarke, it’s ok. You didn’t mean it.” Raven said gently, giving Clarke a hug.

“It’s just not good." Clarke said, before bursting into tears again. At this, Raven reached back and handed Clarke Cloud, her comfort object. Cloud was a little stuffed sheep attached to a small baby blanket. It was made for newborn babies but since everyone transcended, there weren’t any babies to use it. Clarke stole it from Sanctum and has been using it as her comfort object ever since, because the fleecy blanket material was optimal for stimming. Once Clarke started to rub the blanket between her fingers, Raven gently helped her lay down on the bed and she settled down next to her.

“Murphy and Emori are going to scoop up the sand and take it out of your house. Then, you and I are going to lay here for a bit and just relax. Is that ok with you Clarke?”

“You don’t have to waste your day with me.” Clarke said sadly, putting Cloud over her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see Raven’s disappointed face.

Raven though, was far from disappointed. Sure, there were some aspects of Clarke’s autism that took a little bit to get used to, but no matter what traits Clarke showed, Raven, and everyone else on the beach for that matter, would always love and support her, just as she is, with no conditions.

“Clarke, trust me, spending the day with you is a treat, not a waste.” Raven said gently, lightly stroking her fingers up and down Clarke’s arm.

“Ok.” Clarke said quietly, and after Murphy and Emori left with the sand, it was just Raven and Clarke in the little house. At first, they just laid in silence, but within twenty minutes, Clarke’s shivering caused her to get upset again, so Raven helped her under her blankets and joined her, holding her close. Clarke had nudged herself against Raven by then, and was pressing her head against the brunette’s chest, with the sound of Raven’s heartbeat calming her. 

The two ended up napping for close to two hours before they woke up, and this time, Clarke wanted cuddles with Murphy and Emori as well. 

Before the two obliged and joined the cuddle session, Emori had Clarke eat a bit of food and drink some water, since it was a good idea to refuel while coming out of a meltdown. Then, for the rest of the day until supper, Clarke was sandwiched between Emori and Murphy on her bed, with Raven cuddling up against Murphy, getting all of the snuggles that she needed.

By the time she went to bed that night, she felt loved, understood, and much better. Knowing that she had friends like Raven, Murphy, and Emori around to help her with her meltdowns, she felt safe and secure, and knew that with this family, she could handle whatever else life threw her way.


	3. Snuggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Clarke falls off of a ladder on the beach, Murphy comforts her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is apart of Johnmurphyisbisexual's writing challenge on tumblr. I did it for the Hurt/Comfort prompts 5 and 18.

“Clarke! Clarke! Are you ok?” Murphy asked frantically, running over. It was only them on the beach today, because Raven and Emori opened the bridge to go to Bardo, and steal some tech. Nobody else would be using it, so they might as well take advantage of anything that they could use. Jackson also needed more medical supplies so everyone went with, except for the two, since Clarke didn’t want to go. Murphy didn’t want to leave Clarke alone so he decided to stay too, and they were working on patching up the roofs of the structures to get ready for Winter.

And that’s when Clarke fell.

A chipmunk had startled her, and ran past her while she was up on the ladder, causing her to fall back, and land on the ground.

“Clarke, Clarke! Are you hurt?” Murphy asked again, settling down next to her. She was still  lying flat on her back, and she wasn’t really moving, which startled Murphy.

“I’m fine.” She said after a moment, though the wobble in her voice told Murphy that she clearly was not fine.

“Does anything hurt?” He asked, looking her over and not seeing any broken bones or bleeding.

When Clarke didn’t answer, Murphy looked at her and saw that she was near tears. These weren’t pained tears though. They were ones from fear.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” He gently asked, putting up two fingers. It didn’t seem like Clarke hit her head, and until Jackson got back, he wouldn’t know if she had a head or neck injury, so this was the best he could do.

“Meow.” Was all Clarke said, and that was when Murphy realized that Clarke was so scared that she was utilizing verbal stimming. The moment she started to flap her hands around her face confirmed that she wasn’t doing the best at the moment. Even if her routine didn’t change or a sense didn’t bother her, sometimes emotions like fear were enough to push her into a meltdown as well.

“Clarke. Meow is not a number. Are you able to try again?” He asked, though he wasn’t surprised when she said nothing. She meowed a couple times and flapped harder in response, so he slowly helped her up and took her into her house to sit with her on the bed. Even if she didn’t get injured, she still might have bruises from landing on the ground, and landing the way she did probably knocked the wind out of her.

“How about, you take some time and rest. Stim and do what you need to feel better. I’ll sit here with you unless you don’t want me to.” He said, once he helped Clarke onto her bed.

Clarke didn’t answer, instead, she kept flapping and switched from meowing to reciting the alphabet over and over. Murphy smiled at the song, but didn’t say anything. The vocal stimming seemed to be helping her and he didn’t want to  interrupt her.  Interruptions could lead to a meltdown.

Clarke flapped and used vocal stims for about a half hour, before she scooted closer to Murphy, trying to cuddle up against him. Now that she was calmer, she wanted human contact. Sure, she probably would have preferred Raven in this moment, but Murphy was perfectly fine as well.

“Need to be held?” He asked, wanting to get Clarke’s consent first. When she nodded, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into a hug, before sitting with her in his arms.

Clarke and her sensation of touch varied from situation to situation. She often craved it, and needed it when she was in an unpleasant situation, which was something a lot of the people on the beach had to get used to. A few people, like Emori, Hope, Jordan, and Levitt had never met an autistic person before Clarke, or like in Emori’s case, had never known what autism was. It’s not that they were hateful or unaccepting of Clarke’s differences, it just took a while to get used to her, especially now that she wasn’t masking like she did before transcendence. 

The biggest thing Murphy had to get used to was touch. One thing he learned, and naturally assumed was that all autistic people didn’t like being touched, especially during a meltdown or shutdown. He assumed wrong though, because as long as permission was asked and she consented, Clarke was one of the biggest cuddlers on the beach. During meltdowns and shutdowns, she almost always wanted Raven, though Emori, Murphy, or Echo sufficed, and she seemed to really just want contact with someone, to know they were there.

Raven has a theory that it contributes to the times in her life when she was alone, like in solitary on the Ark, in the woods for the few months after the mountain fell, and for the almost two months after  Praimfaya before she found Madi. To Clarke, knowing that someone is there for her, especially during times of distress, was grounding for her. It helped her immensely, and ever since they started life on the beach, everyone made an effort to make sure that unless she stated that she wanted to be alone, someone would be with her at all times. Not hovering over her and crowding her or course, but in the area, close enough for her to feel comfortable and know that she’s not alone, but also not too close to overwhelm her.

Murphy hated to say it, and he hated thinking this way, but to him, post-meltdown cuddles were some of his favorites. Clarke’s cuddles were always so sweet, and he always felt better too after getting a hug from the blonde. He hated that Clarke had to basically go through hell in order to get those kinds of cuddles, and because of this, he tried to hug and snuggle her when she was feeling good, so she wouldn’t have to feel anything bad before it. Clarke however, seemed more needy of affection after a meltdown, so those happy cuddles were far and few between in comparison.

Murphy though, would always take what he could get, and always be there for Clarke whenever she needed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
